Jokes
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Doctor And Lawyer Talk (0)A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the ... |
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Doctor Orders A Birthday Cake (0)For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You are not getting older, You are just getting better." When ... |
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Old Country Delivery (0)An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no ... |
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Negotiations (0)Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs his balls. The dentist says, "Madam, I believe ... |
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Do You Have The Time (0)A man is strolling past the mental hospital and suddenly remembers an important meeting. Unfortunately, his watch has stopped, and he cannot tell ... |
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Skeletons fight (0)Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts. |
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Drive them wild (0)Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? A. Money |
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Baby Hermaphrodite (0)A woman gives birth to a baby and afterward the doctor comes into the room and says, "I have something to tell you about your child.." The woman ... |
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Garden of Eden (0)Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It's kind of lonely ... |
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Efficiency Expert (0)An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody ... |
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Chinese Couple (0)A Chinese couple had a new baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, black baby boy. "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new ... |
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Cosmetic Surgery (0)A woman named Shirley was from Beverly Hills. One day, she had a heart attack and was taken to Cedars Sinai hospital. While on the operating table, ... |
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Family Pants (0)Jack and Jill were getting married. Jack was talking to his dad about the marriage when his dad says, "I remember when your mom and I got married. ... |
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Anniversary Flowers (0)A sad-faced Doug walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on ... |
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Cheap Date (0)Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Little Johnny's Father asked how much his last date had cost. Little Johnny calculated ... |
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Burglar (0)A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: ... |
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Always By My Side (0)A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he ... |
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Control (0)There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains ... |
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Coming Home Late (0)Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home ... |
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Cocktail party (0)At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I ... |
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Deaf (0)A man goes to his doctor and says, "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used to be, what should I do?" The doctor replies, "Try this ... |
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Female Comebacks (0)Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one ... |
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Anyone Here (0)Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all ... |
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Beer, eh (0)A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer ... |
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Anniversary (0)A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia." His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you ... |
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Bad News, Good News, Great News (0)The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. "We're sorry to call on you ... |
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Bra Shopping (0)A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my ... |
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Airplane ride (0)A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," ... |
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2 programmers on a highway (0)Two computer programmers are driving on a Highway. They switch on the radio and there is a warning: Please note that a car is driving on highway 75 ... |
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The Farmer on the plane (0)A farmer, who is not familiar with new technolagy, never went on a plane, but had to visit his sick daughter in California. He asked the flight ... |
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